Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
