Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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