Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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