I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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