You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Randomize
