Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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