It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
