i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
