Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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