Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
