I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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