I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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