is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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