My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
