I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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