How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
