oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
