I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
