it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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