U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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