Who did Billy Mays play for?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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