I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
