pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
