so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Congratulations! We have a period
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