pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
