For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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