We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize