I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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