dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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