she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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