its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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