when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Randomize
