I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
