Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
