I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
