I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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