There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
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he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
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Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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