Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
