i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize