Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
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