A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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