thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Your cock deserves a montage
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
