whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
