I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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