Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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