Can Purell be used as lube?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I got inside last night via doggy door
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
