Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
