it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
