I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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