Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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