They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
