When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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