Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
