How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
