so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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