i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
