I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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