There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
