it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
