I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
