How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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