this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
