Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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