He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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